4 More Tips To Help You Cope With A Breakup

Question:

I've just gone through a really painful breakup and I don't know what to do. I feel like the pain will never go away and that I'll never be loved by anyone the same way again. Will I ever get through this and if so how?

Answer:

In my last article, I outlined 4 simple ways for reducing the pain after a breakup. In this article, I'm going to give you 4 more tools you can use to help you get over a breakup and put the pieces of your life back together when you feel like you just can't get over the hump.

I think it's fair to say that unless you've met your soul mate, most likely you've experienced heartache and heartbreak when a relationship has ended. So as promised, here are 4 things you can do to get over the pain and anguish of a breakup:

1) Don't be hard on yourself

It's natural to feel down in the dumps and a little unloved right now. But just because you're feeling this today does not mean it needs to go on forever. Someone who loves you for who you are could be just around the corner. So cut yourself some slack after a breakup. Go out and do those things that you wanted to do but your ex didn't. Go out and see a movie with friends or go to the gym and start working out. Grab some friends and head out for the evening. But do something productive that takes your mind off your past relationship.

2) Don't be desperate:

Desperation is not attractive in any way, shape or form so steer clear from this. If your main goal is to get back with your ex, then you need to show them that the one thing in their life that's missing is you. Keep your chin up and your spirits high, because if you're miserable, your ex won't want any part of it.

The reality of the situation is that your ex, if they want you back, wants the person they originally fell in love with. They don't want to be with an emotional basket case.

So even though you're feeling miserable inside, you need to put your best foot forward whenever you're in public, because perception is everything. Don't go out looking like a slob. Instead, dress nicely in a way that flatters your body and gets you attention. Also, don't forget to plaster a huge smile across your face. Even though the pain you're going through is unbearable right now, try your best not to let it show because you never know when you're going to run into your ex or a mutual friend. So be happy on the outside, even if you're not totally happy on the inside. After you've put on a brave front for the public you can let yourself go when you're at home alone in your room.

3) Keep living your life:

It's ok to let your emotions out when you're in private, but don't let it consume your life. Feeling miserable after a breakup is normal, but try not to let it linger or you'll just end up feeling worse and you'll delay your recovery process even further. You've got a life to live so get out there and do something fun. You might have to fake it for the first little while, but as you get out more and experience more things with more people you'll soon find that you're enjoying yourself and having fun again.

4) Don't over analyze your past relationship:

It's always a good thing when we learn from our mistakes so take this time to analyze the relationship, but don't overdo it. Since you're broken up now, it doesn't really matter why it happened or who ended things, but you still need to take into account the role you played.

You can't change your ex or what happened, so use this time to work on yourself as a person so that when your ex calls you and wants to meet again you're ready. Don't be hostile during the meeting, instead, be polite and listen to what they have to say. If they want you back, you'll know. But don't rush into anything, instead, take it nice and slow.

If you ended the relationship with your ex but now realize that it was a mistake, take this opportunity and tell them. You may be scared and think they'll reject you, but more often than not the opposite is true. Chances are they miss you too but are too nervous to say anything. Also, they're not mind readers so unless you tell them what you want, you'll never get the results you want.

Men and women see relationships differently and it's these differences that sometimes cause us to get it wrong. Sometimes it takes distance and time to realize that what we had was really great and true love.


Hopefully you've found these 4 tips on how to deal with a breakup insightful and useful. At the end of the day, time apart sprinkled with a little communication can go a long way to getting over a breakup and getting back together.