Parenting Tips - Sibling Rivalry

Managing Sibling Rivalry

Some facts about child behavior.

Your child’s harmful behavior is not going to magically disappear on its own! In reality it's simply going to get worse with time.

Your child will not grow out of this behavior (that's why drug abuse is so widespread in teens)

Plus if their conduct is annoying now, wait until they're older, it can get extremely damaging and dangerous.

Today we will look at Sibling Rivalry plus explore some strategies to help you control this type of behavior.

If you have more than one child, they are likely to experience some sibling rivalry and conflicts and fights can and do happen. Sibling rivalry is a part of growing up and being in a family. We have five children and there is a fair amount of competition for everything. For example, who get the most dessert, who got the most expensive present for their Birthday, and who gets the most affection from the parents. I truly don't object to the last one unless they are every one is trying to get their affection at the same time which can be a battle. There are great ways of dealing with this, and one way could be termed as Passive Parenting.

This is how Passive Parenting works

To start with, make some ground rules for tattletaling or dobbing as it has been labeled in our home. With our five children, when they were young we advised them to speak to either parent if somebody is hurting you, if they are hurt themselves, or if somebody is being destructive or damaging like breaking some one elses property. If they tattletale or dob for something else, they get into trouble themselves.

Make a comment but do not get involved.

When your child comes to you and complains in relation to something a sibling is doing, listen to them, and then say something like, “I’ll bet you dislike that.” “That isn’t very fun.” “That really bites.” Make it a statement that you can use for any situation. The knack is not to present suggestions to handle it, just offer your statement. If they recap the problem, repeat your response. It will probably frustrate them initially, but they will learn to solve their own problems. By presenting a remark you show that you have taken note of their problem but made it clear that you are not going to react.

Most of the time it is hard not to "buy into" your childrens' disputes but for the father and mother, what does it really accomplish? The children are enemies one minute and great friends the next. My suggestion is to save your energy for the teen years, that is when you could need all of your resources. It takes an effort and practice but once you see how this works you will notice that the children will start managing their own troubles. Your children may even be learning life lessons concerning how to manage conflict and how to handle disagreeable circumstances.

It works so give it a try.

This doesn’t succeed for each situation, but it will work the majority of the time. For other problems, have your family set a few rules that are likely to assist them deal with other problems that come up. For my family, they had an concern of privacy of their bedrooms, and hated when brothers or sisters get into their things or went into their rooms uninvited. My solution to this was to have the children talk about what is acceptable and what is not. They consequently have set a rule, they all agreed to, that you have to ask permission to go into a sibling’s bedroom.

Sibling rivalry is something that never goes away, but if you teach your children to manage their own battles, you are making a more self-assured child and one that will get along better with others in the long run. There are countless recommendations and tried methods to deal with all childhood behavioral situations. We all identify that behaviors get worse when overlooked and as parents it is our responsibility to prepare the next generation to take over where we left off.

Obviously the above information is useless if you don't understand the two key points of parenting. These two points are vital and any parent who does not understand how to apply these points will be fighting an up hill battle. What are they? Firstly ask yourself these questions.

What would bring calm and happiness in to your family?

How would you feel if, by the finish of today, you could understand accurately how to stop your child's whining, hitting and anger as well as many of the other behavioral problems plaguing your family?

Would that make life better for you?

It is possible and yes there is a way to get this information now. Follow the link in the box below to learn more.

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